By Freda Donnelly @ShesBasedBabe
In the ever-divided world in which we live, the stark contrast between good and evil is becoming clearer every day. But the line between good and evil is not necessarily purple. We cannot simply click and drag individuals into a bucket based upon the most extreme caricature of their political affiliations. While those who operate in this manner may argue that it would be easier if we could, when we look at out-groups and attempt to do this, we’re robbing others of their humanity. Instead, we should fix our aim on finding the humanity in, and commonalities with, one another. As the great Ronald Reagan said, “Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” Starting from a place of connection and authenticity in any conversation will put one in an upright and reasoned position to be able to engage effectively and meaningfully and sow the seeds of truth.
Those inclined towards cynicism may gripe that this is a pipe dream. They may even project the assumption that I advocate handling everyone in the same manner, whether the person in question is merely striving to do what is best for his family, even though his life may appear different than yours, or whether he is a person who vehemently opposes all your values, harbors intentions to harm your family, or even gleefully partakes in demonic child sacrifice. Allow me to dispel this assumption for you: by no means do I possess the innocence and optimism that I would need to make a declaration of that sort, nor do I believe this in any way.
Part of being intentional in our behavior towards those who make up whatever community we participate in—from our cities and towns to our digital landscapes—requires us to understand whom we can win to our side, whom we can exchange pleasantries with from afar, and whom we need to fight back against to hold the line against unbridled wickedness. For instance, when it comes to couples who do not have children, can we not discern between two different types of couples: those who have been praying for a child and yet have not been able to conceive and the DINKs (couples who are committed to a Double Income No Kids lifestyle) who have likely had several abortions as they live lives of shallow indulgence openly worshiping Baal? Any reasonable person can see the distinction and the necessity of interacting with them differently.
Similarly, when it comes to those caught up in the cult of transgender ideology, can we not see the difference between those who were caught up in their parent’s Factitious Disorder Imposed on Another (FDIA) (formerly known as Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy) and those filled with vitriol who are attempting to trans another generation through grooming? While both of these individuals can be referred to as trans, those truly examining the situation can see the difference between them. Now that we are (hopefully) on the same page let us examine how we can ‘handle conflict by peaceful means’ and build bridges that will win us allies in the fight for the soul of our country.
Building Bridges
Dr. Seuss famously stated, “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” While the aforementioned doctor said this in regard to the natural environment, could we not perhaps apply a similar thought to our fellow man? But how can we start caring? What can we do to demonstrate this care? Well, we can look out for the commonalities we share with various individuals. A great first step is ensuring that we aren’t confining ourselves to an echo chamber. Since you’re reading this on American Daily Press, a site that is dedicated to seeking and spreading truth, you’ve already demonstrated that you’re capable of this, and for that, I commend you. Once you’ve appropriately positioned yourself in this regard, make sure to actively listen to others. After all, people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. It may seem cliche, but that saying underscores the inherent challenge of affecting influence solely through factual presentation, as the indispensable emotional dimension of human nature necessitates a more nuanced approach.
Once you’re actively listening, there are many things that you can do within the container of that conversation to build bridges. Start off by not interrupting. Hold back on forming your response while they are still talking, and wait for a natural pause to contribute to the conversation. Listen reflectively, paraphrase, or repeat back what you’ve heard to confirm your understanding. Not only does this reflection demonstrate that you are actively listening, but it also helps to clarify any potential misunderstandings. Put yourself in the speaker’s shoes to try to understand his perspective and wait for him to express himself at his own pace without getting impatient or attempting to rush him. Encourage the speaker to share more by asking open-ended questions that invite elaboration and further the conversation rather than shutting it down or shooting for the quick gotcha moment. Avoid making quick judgments or forming opinions while the other person is speaking. Keep an open mind and reserve your judgments until you have a more comprehensive understanding. In essence, the art of active listening becomes a bridge-building endeavor, fostering understanding and connection within the ongoing exchange of conversation.
Curating Conversations
One of my favorite middle school reads was Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, and while not every strategy in the book can be applied in this situation, there are a few that stand out as beneficial. Sun Tzu values strategic victories achieved without direct conflict. As such, he advocates adjusting strategies according to the evolving dynamics of a situation. The ultimate goal, he posits, is to achieve victory without resorting to battle. Through standing by our principles, we can show the other side who we are and be far more respectable than if we were to flip-flop or constantly accept rage bait. This is why it’s important to get to know everyone you speak with: by finding out their worldviews and what helped shape them into who they are, you gain an advantage of trust that can help those with your similar worldview unite for a common cause. When you put down the pitchforks, you can find many more commonalities with people than previously thought.
Making room for humility through acknowledging in our actions that everyone has room for growth and learning can also curate an environment in which individuals feel more open to exchanging ideas. If you’re wrong, you have a more comfortable exit strategy to learn and grow from the conversation through humility. If the other person is wrong, you’ve put yourself in a position to share knowledge and information in a way that invites curiosity and reflection. This can contribute to a mutual learning experience. Sometimes, learning new facts about topics that the other person hasn’t looked into can change his entire perspective if we’ve created an environment within the conversation in which he doesn’t have to be on guard but can instead more comfortably learn. It is in this way that we may be able to have a positive influence. Bear in mind, too, that constructive dialogue can exist even in disagreement. We may have sown a seed that allows the other person to go further with his exploration of a topic or at least shown him that someone from our side of the aisle (whichever side that may be) isn’t always full of vitriol.
While building bridges demands intentional efforts, acknowledging the diverse perspectives within our communities enables us to discern whom we can win over, whom we should exchange pleasantries with, and whom we need to actively resist to oppose unchecked maleficence. Doing so requires a conscious commitment to understanding, connection, and constructive dialogue, forming the bedrock of meaningful interactions. As we navigate the tumultuous currents of a divided world, resisting the allure of oversimplified categorizations becomes paramount; it necessitates a nuanced approach that appreciates the intricacies of individual beliefs and experiences. True peace doesn’t evade conflict but is found in our ability to navigate it with grace, seeking common ground amid differences and embracing the shared journey toward unity. As we conclude this exploration, let us commit not merely to an abstract ideal but to the practical endeavor of fostering environments of humility, constructive dialogue, and mutual learning. Through these endeavors, we can collectively sow seeds of understanding, bridge gaps, and shape a more harmonious future for us all.
Freda Donnelly is the host of Finding the Faith podcast on Rumble and a freelance researcher, writer, and content creator