Photo from: Alyson McPhee
By: Freda Donnelly @shesbasedbabe
In the sanctity of marriage, tradition holds a revered place, guiding couples on a journey of mutual respect, devotion, and shared responsibility. Within this sacred bond, upheld by the timeless values of commitment and fidelity, spouses find solace and strength in the age-old customs that have stood the test of time. It is through the adherence to religious values and tradition that couples honor the sacred covenant of marriage, ensuring that their union remains a beacon of stability and love amidst the complexities of modern life.
As a wife committed to upholding the timeless values of partnership as a way to cherish my husband, I have embraced a set of principles rooted in tradition, ensuring that our union remains steadfast and harmonious amidst the complexities of modern life. Being a homemaker is an absolute blessing! Despite this, I know firsthand how tricky navigating being a homemaker can be in the beginning stages when you know what needs to be done but don’t have a job description, or when going through tumultuous times in your personal life when your health or other difficulties make you feel like you can’t keep your head above water. That’s why I want to share with you the questions I ask myself as they’ve served me well as a homemaker and have been beneficial principles for almost decade that we’ve been together.
How To Keep Tradition In Your Marriage
1. What does my husband need from me today? How can I best support my husband’s needs and aspirations each day?
At the heart of our partnership lies a commitment to mutual support and understanding. By prioritizing my husband’s needs and aspirations, I honor his traditional role of provider and mine as nurturer, ensuring that our home remains a sanctuary of love and stability. Through navigating our priorities and working towards shared daily goals, we cultivate a sense of unity and purpose that strengthens our bond as partners. Our commitment to mutual support extends beyond the confines of our home, as we navigate life’s challenges and celebrate its triumphs together. With each decision guided by love and respect, we create a foundation of trust and harmony that sustains us through life’s journey. In honoring each other’s roles and contributions, we embrace the beauty of partnership and the sacredness of marriage.
2. How can I fulfill my duties in managing our household and familial responsibilities?
I take pride in assuming the primary responsibility for managing our household and caring for our family as a homemaker. Based upon our family structure and unique skillsets this is what works for our family. Through diligent stewardship and attention to detail, I strive to create a warm and welcoming environment that reflects our shared values and beliefs. One in which I wake up every morning and seek to serve both my partnership and my spouse.
3. What can I do to make him feel confident that I’m holding the fort down during the day?
Supporting that work life balance means helping him be fully present at work when he’s at work. It also means holding space for that transition between the two places. Not pestering him with details he doesn’t need to know right away, and giving him 15 minutes to unwind before I share about my day can help him get into “home mode” so that he’s able to lovingly give me the attention and focus I deserve. Understanding his priorities for the day, and how mine align with his helps me to work together towards the daily finish line of when I’m back in his arms. Pushing forwards toward victories both small and large together can help motivate us wives when we’re feeling overwhelmed.
4. How can I create a tranquil and comforting atmosphere for my husband’s return home?
In keeping with the customs of hospitality and domesticity, I endeavor to create a haven of tranquility for my husband’s return home each evening. Through acts of service and thoughtful gestures, I seek to convey my deep affection and respect for his role as the head of our household. Pouring him a drink, getting dinner ready, setting his slippers by the door, tidying up in the living room, or spending a few minutes adjusting my own appearance so that I look nice for him are all ways to ensure he is welcomed home and put at ease no matter what his day on the other side of the door looked like.
5. How can I provide unwavering support for my husband’s professional endeavors?
As his steadfast companion and confidante, I stand ready to offer encouragement and support as my husband navigates the challenges of his career. Through prayer and encouragement, I seek to bolster his confidence and resilience, knowing that his success is integral to the well-being of our family. Being ready to lend a listening ear while he’s at work is valuable as is helping him strategize when difficulties arise. (Plus, you get the workplace tea without having to deal with the colleague drama so it’s a win all around.) You can also help with the office politics, remember important things about his colleagues, and if you’re a maker like me, craft beautiful presents that will enhance his relationships at work.
6. What can I do today to strengthen and encourage my husband and our relationship?
Making sure that we’re looking more at the kindness, caring, and lovely things our respective husbands do helps us keep a positive focus. It’s within our power to build up our own house. Finding charm in his quirks and making it known to him that we enjoy his presence helps him to relax and feel happy to be home. Knowing his love language and apology language is beneficial to walking the road of marriage in step with your partner. Finding ways to brighten his day, make him laugh, and feel your love continue to strengthen this bond further.
7. How can I refresh, reenergize, or refocus in order to continue being the type of wife my husband deserves and the woman he fell in love with?
Partnership is a mutual endeavor. We serve one another in different ways, and on occasion we need to serve ourselves as well. If we’re running ourselves ragged then we’re not in a position to properly care for our priorities. A loving husband doesn’t want to see us neglecting ourselves. He should, and likely does, understand that our priorities for ourselves are part of the overall family priorities and desires us to tend to them as such. Whether it’s spending time relaxing so that we’re in a position to welcome him home unstressed before we get dinner on the table, or it’s scheduling the occasional night out with dear friends, wanting the best for one another looks like caring for them and wanting them to consider themselves as well. It’s a lot easier to demonstrate the love that we have for one another when we’re not burnt out, overly stressed, or hangry. Ensuring that we take care of these needs can help us serve from a healthy and happy place, rather than one of lack.
8. How can I embody my deeply held values within the framework of our partnership?
In an age of rapid change and uncertainty, I remain steadfast in my commitment to upholding traditional values and principles within our marriage. Through humility, obedience, and self-sacrifice, I seek to honor the sacred covenant of marriage and preserve the sanctity of our union. Through acts of service and devotion, I strive to emulate the virtuous example set forth by generations of faithful women before me. Part of this is asking, how do my actions align with my family’s priorities? Using this question as a guide can help us to ensure we’re tending to our duties in a way that best allocates our resources as a faithful steward.
9. How can I foster a spirit of gratitude and contentment within our marriage?
In a world consumed by materialism and excess, I endeavor to cultivate a spirit of gratitude and contentment within our marriage. Through simple pleasures and shared experiences, I seek to deepen our appreciation for the blessings bestowed upon us by a gracious and loving God. Using manners intentionally, being quick to praise and slow to rage, and demonstrating that I respect him daily are all ways in which I’m able to foster this spirit within our household. Further, we understand that as homemakers, we may have to make sacrifices to enjoy the blessing of this lifestyle. Trying to keep up with those who don’t share our values, priorities, or tax bracket can deepen resentment towards our husband that can be poisonous to our union. Instead, it’s crucial to remember that we don’t have to have the best of everything to make the best of everything.
10. How can I ensure that our marriage remains a source of strength and inspiration for future generations?
As stewards of a sacred tradition, my husband and I bear a solemn responsibility to ensure that our marriage serves as a beacon of hope and inspiration for future generations. Through fidelity, perseverance, and unwavering faith, we pledge to uphold the timeless values of love, commitment, and devotion that have sustained marriages throughout the ages. In embracing the conservative values and traditions of marriage, my husband and I find solace and strength in a partnership that transcends the fleeting trends of modern society. With faith as our guide and tradition as our anchor, we embark on a journey of mutual love and respect, knowing that our union is blessed by the timeless wisdom of those who have gone before us and the scriptural principles laid out in our family Bible.
These questions can serve as guiding principles for your journey, whether that be as a homemaker or as a stay-at-home mom. You have the blessing on intimately and uniquely knowing your family members and what will best serve them. My family’s aspirations and goals will likely look different than yours, but lovingly and prayerfully reflecting upon these questions allow both of us to serve the needs of our respective families tenderly and with great love. As Mother Teresa said, “Wash the plate not because it is dirty, nor because you are told to wash it, but because you love the person who will use it next.” Infusing love and care into every action we take, no matter how mundane, can help us to serve with passion and integrity, as well as to romanticize our daily lives in a lovely and feminine manner.
Freda Donnelly is the host of Finding the Faith podcast on Rumble and a freelance researcher, writer, and content creator